The Hunt for Happiness

“Being able to break out and actually try things. Learn what I liked and what I was interested in, versus what was told to me to like and told to me to understand.”

For many children, the greatest goal is to make our parents proud. We look for their applause in the crowd, followed by a cheeky grin after a performance. We desire that bone crushing squeeze they give in a congratulatory hug. And if there’s any sibling rivalry at bay, we want to be the favorite. That’s what makes the transition from childhood to adulthood so compelling. It’s not always the absense of their presence that’s difficult, though that can be part of it, but moreso the absense of their affirmation. If I make this choice, will mom approve? If I follow this path, how will dad respond? How might my actions impact my parents view of me?

Walker became so comfortable living his life with his parents at the forefront that it was almost impossible for him to discern what he truly wanted for himself. Coming from a religious household, God is part of that mix as well. The beauty of college, and particulary law school, was that it forced Curtis to think for himself. Not that he was a puppet or a puppy, waiting on commands from authority. But with so many loud voices (Mom’s, Dad’s, church’s, etc.), the distance allowed those to soften and his to strengthen.

People say college is the place where you find yourself. Law school blessed Walker with a unique opportunity to remember who he’s always been. It wasn’t so much that Curtis had to find anything. He just needed the opportunity to see for himself who he is and live that out authentically. The lens of who our parents think we are or who our parents want us to be can warp our view of ourselves. No ill intent on their part. Like many parents, they just want what’s best for us.

But as adulthood hits, it’s important to bear in mind that their perspective of “what’s best” is shaped by their upbringing, background, and experiences. The guidance and wisdom shared is essential. However, what shapes us is our upbringing, background, and experiences. Without acknowledging those parts of ourselves we simply become carbon copies of our parents. And if that’s what you want for yourself, be my guest. But Walker wanted different.

Walker sought out happiness for himself through doing the things he never considered trying before. Attempting new activities. Pursuing adventures that pull at his heart. Listening to the whispers of his soul and following it. That doesn’t mean it was easy. Breaking from tradition. Breaking from the path crafted by parents can be intimidating. It’s uncomfortable. It’s scary. Because at the end of the day, no matter how old you get, you’re still a child with well wishes of making your parents proud. And as Walker’s journey to remember continues, his parents’ support remains, unwavering and proud.

Read More of Curtis' story by purchasing Issue 3 of Nobody's Nobody Magazine